countermeasures | chroma | catchall for ruby rose

[she did get into a pod!

unfortunately, she looks significantly more worse-off now that the black, tarlike substance is gone, because instead of looking like someone just dumped black goo on her, it is now possible to see the full extent of her injuries. she's pretty heavily bandaged all over, and most of the parts of her that are not bandaged are mottled with bruises.

she's resting on one of the cots, but it's a fitful sort of rest.]

[ hateful.

well. ruby will pull a chair up next to her and sit. placing a small soft friend next to her. it's got an amber glow to it and is radiating warm/calm.

she speaks softly.]

Hey, Jiuqing...It's Ruby. Just thought I'd come keep you company, I know how lonely it can get here.

[ even if she can't respond, ruby will just sit and exist next to her. ]

[ruby is so good.

jiuqing looks up at her, and her brow furrows immediately.]

...I'm sorry.

[ her smile is small, but still soft and warm. ]

You have nothing to apologize for and even if you did, I'd forgive you immediately.

...

[nothing to apologize for, huh?]

I hurt Vin.

[ the smile from her face fades and is replaced with a look of shock...

but then it too fades, a concerned look replacing it. ]

Jiuqing...whatever happened, I'm sure it wasn't on purpose...

...

[she stares at her hands.]

[ her voice is soft and sincere, when she speaks. ]

This place has a way of making us do things we'd never do.

[ reaches out to gently touch her hand. ]

And the Jiuqing, I know, would never hurt someone else on purpose.

[ a soft smile ]

...

[ruby is so sweet.

but that's the thing. jiuqing has hurt people on purpose. not directly - not the way she had in this adventure - but many of the actions she had taken to protect herself, back home, had resulted in people getting hurt.

and not just as an unintended consequence, either.]

I didn't want to hurt her. But I did, and that's a fact. I couldn't stop myself. [...] What if it happens again? Tonight? What if I... if I find myself awake and...

[ this place's cruelty really knows no bounds...]

You didn't want to hurt her, something else did. That in and of itself is proof that you tried to fight it, regardless of what compelled you to do it.

[ her heart breaks for jiuqing, it really does, because she's seen what this place can do to people. they've all seen it. even on her own adventure she ended up hurting another person, though not as severe as this...it still fills her with guilt. ]

And if you happen to find yourself in that position, again...then you fight it. You fight with every ounce of energy you have, until it's impossible to fight anymore. [ she'll gently take her hand ]

Nobody here has ever meant to hurt another person, they've all gone down swinging, to the bitter end. Because they know it isn't them...

[ she thinks of chang geng and percy, red and pink petals coming up. she turns away to cough them up, pocketing the petals. ]

...

[she lets ruby take her hand, and gives it a very gentle squeeze.]

Ruby, you...

[you're too kind.

logically, jiuqing knows she would say these exact same things to anyone else, if their situations were reversed. it's just - a little harder to accept when it's herself. she's made it her goal here to try and keep as many people alive and healthy and well as possible, and hurting someone like this...

it goes against that directly.

she looks to ruby with concern when she coughs up those pink and red petals.]

...if there's - something else on your mind, you can say it, you know...

[ she covers her mouth to cough again, no more petals, thankfully. and she nods, a slight frown on her face. ]

We've seen it a lot, the ones who wake up after curfew...they try to wait it out or fend each other off as long as they can.

[ closes her eyes and takes a breath, sighing. ]

Marie and Buzen did...Percy and Chang Geng...and I'm sure the others as well. It's a scary thing to have to face, for both parties involved. [ looks at jiuqing, expression soft again. ]

I know you'd do the same, even if the other person insisted on just getting it over with, you'd do your best to fight the compulsion.

[ me like, i want to add more to this but my brain is soup ]

[...no more petals. whew, okay. jiuqing has figured out that the petals only happen when you're not acknowledging or trying to suppress things, so - better to get it out.]

...I would try to, that's true.

[her voice is small.]

I don't want to hurt anyone. And if I do end up succumbing, I would want someone to stop me, or to catch me.

chroma | catchall for ruby rose

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