chroma | catchall for hot pants

[countermeasures]

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[fleshedout]

[She just shrugs. The emotions buzz under the surface, but right now, its like nothing is getting expressed. Like she's numb.]

I'm alright as I'll ever be.

[countermeasures]

[hmm. concerning.

jiuqing puts a hand on her arm.]

That answer makes me worry a little, you know.

[fleshedout]

[She looks at the arm, then at Su.]

Why?

[countermeasures]

I can feel what you're feeling right now.

[she can feel how fuckin numb she is!! hello!!]

If you really don't think this is as alright as you'll ever be - if you really don't think you'll ever feel any better than this - that's concerning!

[fleshedout]

[.......And something seems to break free of the seas of emotion here...disappointment, but directed inwards, shame in the form of needles piercing inside.]

I'm...I'm sorry.

[countermeasures]

You don't need to apologize to me.

[she gives her arm a gentle squeeze.]

...but this isn't as alright as you'll ever be, Miss Hot Pants. It will get better.

[underneath the calm, jiuqing's feelings are a very set determination.]

That's a promise.

[fleshedout]

......

[A shake of the head.]

Will it? Or are you just saying that to make me feel better?

[countermeasures]

I'm saying it because I believe it.

[...]

I have a question to ask you. It may be an uncomfortable one.

[fleshedout]

...What is it?

[countermeasures]

...are you the one who killed Sir November?

[fleshedout]

[She looks her in the eyes. There's irritation rising over the emotionshare.]

No. I didn't kill him, Su.

[countermeasures]

[she meets her gaze steadily. she is still calm, but her hairpin's still in.]

I'd like to believe that. And I'm not asking you simply to make an accusation, I'm just... worried.

[fleshedout]

"Like to"?

[She grimaces, more irritated by that than anything.]

There's nothing to worry about besides everything else. This week has been hell. We need to focus on getting everyone out of this mess. I'm sick of it all, Su.

[countermeasures]

That is what I'm focused on - getting us out of this mess. You're included in that.

[and it's why she can't quite let her suspicions go.]

...regardless, what I said before stands. This is not as alright as you'll ever feel. I won't accept that.

[fleshedout]

...

[The irritation falls, replaced by exhaustion, acceptance, but also just....vulnerability. Like she's bleeding out, and she knows it.]

I feel like I've been run over. Of course it isn't alright as I'll ever feel. I'm holding on by a thread.

[countermeasures]

...

[she reaches for her hand]

Then let me stay here with you. You don't have to hold on by a thread alone.

[fleshedout]

[She looks at her hand, before taking it gently.]

Am I a selfish person, Su?

[countermeasures]

I don't think there's anyone who's not selfish. We all have things we want.

[she squeezes her hand gently.]

But being selfish does not make you a bad person.

[fleshedout]

[Her eyes are welling up with tears.]

Maybe, but...I don't want to be anyone's burden.

[countermeasures]

[hot pants, your roller coaster of emotions.]

You're no burden, Miss Hot Pants.

[fleshedout]

[ITS BEEN A CRAZY LAST FEW DAYS IN THIS HERE PRISM]

You're not saying that to be nice, are you?

[But she's saying that more casually, without any bite.]

[countermeasures]

I say things because I believe them!

[she puffs her cheeks out at her.]

[fleshedout]

[...]

[She's poking one of those cheeks.]

[countermeasures]

[the vibes:

???]

[fleshedout]

...You do know you're cute, right?