[maybe things could have been different. she has a brief memory of seeing someone covered in goo who maybe looked vaguely like jiuqing flying by them at one point and takes a breath.]
I know how painful it is - to have the memories of hurting people. [to remember what happened after changing like that.] You should not have had to go through it alone, on top of - whatever else happened to you while we were parted.
[she pauses for a moment, because - talking about this, when it mirrors something she's trying very hard not to think about is difficult, but she doesn't want jiuqing to think she bears her any ill will, either.]
If it was... similar to my own experience - your awareness was gone by that point. Am I correct?
The people I killed afterwards - was that my fault, then?
[whatever jiuqing says likely won't have an impact on how she views her own actions, but - she's saying this to prove a point, not to soothe her own guilt.]
[but even if she's curious, she doesn't want to push her to relive something horrible so soon after it happened. she knows it's difficult for her to think about all of it, especially what happened at the end.]
The beginning wasn't... too bad. I woke up alone on a tundra, and - heard footsteps. There were soldiers, and they called me a heretic, and attacked me... but I was rescued by someone named Ysayle.
When I asked how to get back, she said she didn't know, but that the dragons might be able to help me. So, she took me to... I think it was called Dravania?
[well. there had been that moment... but then he'd just handed her potions. so, y'know, maybe that hesitation hadn't been out of recognition. aymeric is very kind, after all.]
But I didn't have much time to converse with him...
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[maybe things could have been different. she has a brief memory of seeing someone covered in goo who maybe looked vaguely like jiuqing flying by them at one point and takes a breath.]
I know how painful it is - to have the memories of hurting people. [to remember what happened after changing like that.] You should not have had to go through it alone, on top of - whatever else happened to you while we were parted.
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[she tried so hard to kill them both. she hadn't succeeded, but only because they'd succumbed to the same transformation.]
How can you just...
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If it was... similar to my own experience - your awareness was gone by that point. Am I correct?
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[...she knows that, if the situation was reversed, she'd be insisting that it wasn't vin's fault.
she knows, but...
it's hard to accept. she had gone there to look for them to help them, not to hurt them.]
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The people I killed afterwards - was that my fault, then?
[whatever jiuqing says likely won't have an impact on how she views her own actions, but - she's saying this to prove a point, not to soothe her own guilt.]
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Of course it wasn't!
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[not really, and she has to fight not to hack up some petals, but.]
But that means it was not yours, either.
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[...]
You'll... use the pods and recover quickly, won't you?
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[but, to that second point...]
I have already healed most of the damage. I will go back later to finish it.
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Good.
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[even if she can't see.]
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[well
you know.]
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Jiuqing, may I ask - what happened to you while we were apart?
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I really don't know where to start.
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[but even if she's curious, she doesn't want to push her to relive something horrible so soon after it happened. she knows it's difficult for her to think about all of it, especially what happened at the end.]
If it is not too difficult.
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When I asked how to get back, she said she didn't know, but that the dragons might be able to help me. So, she took me to... I think it was called Dravania?
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[she nods, though.]
Dravania... The version of Aymeric we met there mentioned something about it.
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[she nods slowly]
Did... you see him in Ishgard? I saw him there, too, before...
[before she went full monster and attacked them.]
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[she nods.]
Yes. At the time, it seemed like it was really him... He talked about the Prism, and it seemed that he recognized Kashuu and I after some prompting.
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[well. there had been that moment... but then he'd just handed her potions. so, y'know, maybe that hesitation hadn't been out of recognition. aymeric is very kind, after all.]
But I didn't have much time to converse with him...
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...what happened with the two of you? When you met him?
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[looks into the void]
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Ah. I see.
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It was a convincing fake. He would have done something like that.
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