countermeasures | chroma | catchall for buzen gou

[rooftop is totally fair - especially since buzen is looking for some peace and quiet. when she turns to him, he offers a small smile]

Hey, Doctor Su. If I knew you were up here, I would've brought some tea.

[ - well, despite everything, he's pretty... calm?]

Would you be opposed to company? I can leave, if you'd rather have time to yourself.

I wouldn't be opposed. But I'm afraid I may not be very good company, myself.

[this whole trial was upsetting!! :c our lawyers]

[that notion gets a shrug from him even as he goes to join her]

Good company, bad company... It's all relative, right?

Just be you. I don't think anyone expects to be taking any of this in stride.

...this isn't the first time I've seen someone die.

[...]

But it never does get any easier.

[he nods along with that]

... I wish I could say it will but -

[a pause]

... I don't want to lie to you. I only wish that their ends had some more meaning than this.

It would be one thing if this was...

[her voice trails off, and she shakes her head.]

[ . . .

curious, prompting - ]

If this was?

... you don't have to say, if you don't wish. But... you don't have to hold back with me either.

...the murders I've had firsthand experience all happened for reasons. Awful reasons, but reasons nonetheless. The killers chose to kill, or to try to, even if they didn't succeed.

But this... there wasn't a reason. Not one that came from either of the two of them, themselves. This wasn't a choice.

It just was... so it's harder to accept.

[ . . . he pauses for a moment and automatically his hand lifts from where it's sitting at his side -

hesitates]

... can I touch you, Doctor Su?

[she nods once]

[then he'll shift closer, sitting beside her - and then let his arm shift around her shoulders, guiding her to lean into him slowly.

buzen doesn't always know the right words to say, and he doesn't know how he feels about forcing people to talk. but... he can be a foundation, he can be stable, when others are shaky with anger or despair]

.... if it's something heavy, we can share the weight - if you want. If you're frustrated, I can help you carry it.

If you'd allow.

[aaaaaaaand this is why he's the boyfriend sword]

...thank you, Buzen.

[honestly yea

yea it is]

It's nothing. It's the least I can do.

You do a lot of work for us, Doctor Su. Can't have you burning yourself on your anger - right as it is - all by yourself so early.

[she manages a weak chuckle at that.

because he's hit the nail on the head - she is angry. angry that this has happened, and that they couldn't prevent it. she's been trying to keep it contained, but... it's still there.

he may not understand humans well, but he certainly seems to understand her.]

I'd like to take this prism by its shoulders and shake answers out of it. But I suppose it doesn't work like that, does it?

[her words manage to get him to laugh - quietly, and he tips his head towards her conspiratorially]

I'd like to get a few slices in too, between you and me.

[ - he's not angry in the same way that others are. he doesn't know how to be. but he does feel that sense of frustration, and that deep desire to take down what he's identified as an enemy]

... I wish it did work like that. It'd feel a little less like we're puppets.

...do you think we'll be expected to watch tomorrow?

[it won't be a fight to the death. is that a kindness, she wonders, that another person won't be dragged into this? but - an execution...]

Like how last week, we weren't able to leave once that fight started...?

... yes.

[he doesn't see why they wouldn't. that seems like the kind of thing that would cause an awful lot of suffering, like the rest of this charade]

... would you want to look away?

No, I wouldn't.

But... I fear some would struggle with it.

[like meteion... their baby bird.......]

They would.

[buzen agrees]

... but sometimes if there are things you can't run away from, just having someone at your side helps, doesn't it? At least... that's what I think.

...yes. You're right about that.

[it's helping right now! she's actually able to smile. a little. it doesn't fully reach her eyes, because this whole day has been exhausting and hard, but it's better than it was.]

[ . . . good. his expression softens at that too, and he'll just keep his arm around her, hand resting at her shoulder and occasionally just letting his thumb brush against her in slow, repetitive strokes]

We'll be okay, Doctor Su. And I'll be with you until then - so neither of us have to go through the hard parts alone.

...thank you.

[she breathes out. there's a tension in her shoulders that doesn't go away, even as he brushes his thumb against her to soothe her, but it's fine. she's not as tense as she could be. baby steps.]

I'll be alright tomorrow. It's just a little hard right now.

[he doesn't seem to mind, at least - he'll continue idly, expecting nothing.]

That's okay. And you can take longer than tomorrow if you need to.

But at least for now... I think it's alright to stew in emotion. We... feel them because we care so strongly, right?

[at least. that's a sword's understanding of it. the way that the heart moves without permission.]

[she will not actually be okay tomorrow because that execution was horrifying]

Yes... that's right. If we didn't care, we wouldn't feel anything at all.

[he nods at that]

... and maybe it's a bit funny to hear from me, given how long I spent as a blade -

But I'm glad. That you're not as sharp and cold as we can be. The burden of caring... it's still warmer than that.

chroma | catchall for buzen gou

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