su jiuqing (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
countermeasures) wrote2022-02-13 08:23 am
countermeasures) wrote2022-02-13 08:23 amchroma | catchall for vin
i haven't had coffee yet so this won't be pretty yet
countermeasures) wrote2022-02-13 08:23 am
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[she pauses for a moment, awkward, but:]
I would not mind hearing about it, if you wanted.
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[on the one hand, she doesn't really want to talk about it. or rather - she doesn't know how to talk about it. in all the years since her life had started to get complicated, she'd never once explained any of it to anyone. she couldn't.
but there's that urge, to talk. to share. and vin has been easy for her to get along with. she'll understand, won't she...?
jiuqing's fingers brush against her throat again.]
...years ago, my aunt and cousin came to live with my father, my mother, and me. My mother was happy to see her sister again, and I was happy to meet my cousin. It felt like my family had gotten larger, and I trusted them so much.
But they... it wasn't what it seemed.
[...]
I treated Waner like she was my actual sister. I loved her like one. And it turned out that she was. [she bites her lip.] My father and my aunt had been having an affair all along. They'd plotted together and lied to my mother and me, so they could move in with us. And then they tried to get rid of us both. They...
[her voice trails off. her fingers linger at her throat for a moment, and then she drops her hand to her side.]
...they weren't to be trusted. So what you said... it reminded me of that. I thought they'd brought good things into my life, but they'd really only come to take away every good thing that I had.
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...It must have been painful. [in a way she can't really comprehend, given her complicated family dynamics.] I understand now why you told me you cut ties with him.
[the way jiuqing's hand moves to her neck for a moment doesn't escape vin's notice, but she doesn't comment on it directly.]
Was your mother alright?
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[betrayal.]
But she divorced him and moved out. She's doing much better now.
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Trusting someone and having that trust broken... Someone told me once that it is more difficult because it does not stop you from loving them.
[but, that being said...]
I am glad both of you were safe.
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That person sounds very wise.
...I'm glad we are, too. I'd do anything if it kept my mother safe.
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[moving on quickly from that.]
The two of you must be close, then. It is good you had each other.
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My mother is wonderful. I'm very lucky to have her.
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but she tilts her head. it makes her feel a little self conscious to ask, but:]
What is it like?
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[...it, she says, not she; jiuqing assumes that means she's asking what it's like to have a mother. she's quiet for a moment as she considers it.]
She doesn't always understand why I do the things I do, but... she supports me. I know I can go to her for anything, and she'll accept me the way I am. She doesn't try to change me, or make me feel like I should be better than I am, or anything like that.
Being able to see her face makes me feel like I'm at home, whether we actually are home or not.
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I can see why you care for her.
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...thank you for asking, Miss Vin. It's good to talk about her.
[...]
I wish I could introduce you to her. I think she'd like you a lot.
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[tilting her head slightly]
...That's nice of you to say.
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[jiuqing's mom would want to adopt vin so fast tbh]
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[it's said with a little discomfort solely because she's awkward, so she's moving on quickly.]
What other poems do you like?
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[i am NOT clicking that link again i've lost so many hours just browsing things on that site]
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...They do sound nice.
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