[there are a few quiet moments after he says that - punctuated by their breathing, and the rustle of jiquing's clothing as she brings her other hand up to wipe at her face.
get it together, jiuqing—]
You took him. [that's steady. she can manage.] And now you're leaving too—
[her voice breaks.]
Why... did you say you wanted to make more memories with me, if you were going to go?
[she knows that. because if it's vax who faces him in combat - and with him having declared that's what he wants, with the fact that they'd have to volunteer, who would dare to volunteer in his stead and take that from him? - then he certainly won't be killing him.
he'd confessed to keep him from falling under suspicion. he wouldn't do that, and then just take vax's life to save his own. there's no way.]
I am. But... part of me will stay. And it will hurt, but... I hope that you'll take it with you anyways.
[ he slowly buries his eyes in her shoulder. ]
Read my books... make sure you eat... take care of yourself with as much dedication as you care for the others. I'll haunt you if you don't. I'll whisper in your ear that you need to eat and sleep and I'll scold you. I'll find a way.
[ her shoulder is wet. he's crying. soundlessly. ]
I'll bring him back. I don't know how, but I'll bring him back to you.
go ahead and haunt me. at least that way i'll be able to hear your voice.
...she absolutely can't say that. this is hard enough for him already, isn't it? she can feel his tears soaking through the fabric of her dress, on her shoulder, even if she can't hear him crying. (she's crying, too, her own tears coming faster than she can stop them.) she can't make this worse.]
Percy...
[don't go.
in her first life, she'd lost her mother. but she'd been granted a second chance, and everyone and everything she'd lost, she'd been able to reclaim with her own hands. but there's no second chance here, and she can't keep percy from slipping away from her any more than she can reach out into the darkness and bring chang geng or chinatsu or any of the others they've lost back.
she can't. she doesn't know how. she knows there is a way to, now - has seen him singing a young boy back to life in his own memories, has seen him brought back from the brink in someone else's - but she doesn't know if that sort of power exists in the prism. so much exists here that doesn't, in her world; so many things that are present in her world aren't here.
but if this place draws on their memories, their experiences...]
I'll— I'll keep my memory of you with me, always. I won't let this place take you from me again. [her voice breaks with a sob, but she keeps going.] ...but that's just a memory. You have to come back, too. When— when you bring him back... you have to stay.
[ when percy speaks, his voice is wet, hoarse. it's undignified, but he can't bother with it. the regret fills him, a cup overflowing, and he's angry, he's angry at himself, he's angry that he saw a mirror, he's furious with grief. he doesn't want forgiveness or understanding, he just wants time to twist back inward on itself. he wishes he'd never woken up, that they'd all been hale and whole and--
jiuqing sobs and he holds her closer, rests a hand on the back of her head and presses them quietly together. he has the strength in him to rock, a quiet back and forth as he steadies his voice. ]
I'll stay, I promise.
[ he shifts, and very softly, presses a kiss to the top of her hair. ]
I'll do whatever it takes. I don't care what's on the other side... I'll find a way. I want to make more memories with you... [ he buries his nose in her hair. ] I will. We will.
she's been grieving chang geng since his body had been found on friday; she's grieving percy now, even though he hasn't left yet, because she knows there's no way to keep him here. but she wishes she could stop grieving, at least for a little while, because she doesn't want these to be the last memories she has with him before he goes.
still, it's hard - impossible, even - to stop, and she holds to him tightly as he presses them closer together, as if she can keep him from going if she holds tightly enough.
she can't, she knows. but she wishes she could.]
...you promised...
[he promised. that means he'll keep it, won't he? somehow? it would be harder to believe him, if she hadn't seen his memory of that boy, and vax's memory of him. but she did see it, and that means that in some world, the possibility exists.
if they can just figure out a way back to his world, or if they can tap into the powers that had brought him back, somehow...
she sniffles, shifting a little to press her face into his shoulder.]
...okay. I'll believe you.
[...]
I'll wait for you, Percy. So please don't keep me waiting long.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
countermeasures) wrote2022-02-13 07:27 pm
no subject
get it together, jiuqing—]
You took him. [that's steady. she can manage.] And now you're leaving too—
[her voice breaks.]
Why... did you say you wanted to make more memories with me, if you were going to go?
no subject
his voice breaks. it cracks. ]
Because I wished that somehow we could. That... that maybe if I... that if I...
[ he sobs. it's dry. broken. ]
no subject
she turns, and shifts closer to him, and hugs him, heedless of her own wounds, but cautious of his.]
...is it selfish to say I don't want you to go?
no subject
it's heavy. ]
I don't want to leave you.
no subject
[she knows that. because if it's vax who faces him in combat - and with him having declared that's what he wants, with the fact that they'd have to volunteer, who would dare to volunteer in his stead and take that from him? - then he certainly won't be killing him.
he'd confessed to keep him from falling under suspicion. he wouldn't do that, and then just take vax's life to save his own. there's no way.]
no subject
[ he slowly buries his eyes in her shoulder. ]
Read my books... make sure you eat... take care of yourself with as much dedication as you care for the others. I'll haunt you if you don't. I'll whisper in your ear that you need to eat and sleep and I'll scold you. I'll find a way.
[ her shoulder is wet. he's crying. soundlessly. ]
I'll bring him back. I don't know how, but I'll bring him back to you.
no subject
she can't say that.
show up to make sure i eat yourself.
she can't say that, either.
go ahead and haunt me. at least that way i'll be able to hear your voice.
...she absolutely can't say that. this is hard enough for him already, isn't it? she can feel his tears soaking through the fabric of her dress, on her shoulder, even if she can't hear him crying. (she's crying, too, her own tears coming faster than she can stop them.) she can't make this worse.]
Percy...
[don't go.
in her first life, she'd lost her mother. but she'd been granted a second chance, and everyone and everything she'd lost, she'd been able to reclaim with her own hands. but there's no second chance here, and she can't keep percy from slipping away from her any more than she can reach out into the darkness and bring chang geng or chinatsu or any of the others they've lost back.
she can't. she doesn't know how. she knows there is a way to, now - has seen him singing a young boy back to life in his own memories, has seen him brought back from the brink in someone else's - but she doesn't know if that sort of power exists in the prism. so much exists here that doesn't, in her world; so many things that are present in her world aren't here.
but if this place draws on their memories, their experiences...]
I'll— I'll keep my memory of you with me, always. I won't let this place take you from me again. [her voice breaks with a sob, but she keeps going.] ...but that's just a memory. You have to come back, too. When— when you bring him back... you have to stay.
no subject
[ when percy speaks, his voice is wet, hoarse. it's undignified, but he can't bother with it. the regret fills him, a cup overflowing, and he's angry, he's angry at himself, he's angry that he saw a mirror, he's furious with grief. he doesn't want forgiveness or understanding, he just wants time to twist back inward on itself. he wishes he'd never woken up, that they'd all been hale and whole and--
jiuqing sobs and he holds her closer, rests a hand on the back of her head and presses them quietly together. he has the strength in him to rock, a quiet back and forth as he steadies his voice. ]
I'll stay, I promise.
[ he shifts, and very softly, presses a kiss to the top of her hair. ]
I'll do whatever it takes. I don't care what's on the other side... I'll find a way. I want to make more memories with you... [ he buries his nose in her hair. ] I will. We will.
no subject
she's been grieving chang geng since his body had been found on friday; she's grieving percy now, even though he hasn't left yet, because she knows there's no way to keep him here. but she wishes she could stop grieving, at least for a little while, because she doesn't want these to be the last memories she has with him before he goes.
still, it's hard - impossible, even - to stop, and she holds to him tightly as he presses them closer together, as if she can keep him from going if she holds tightly enough.
she can't, she knows. but she wishes she could.]
...you promised...
[he promised. that means he'll keep it, won't he? somehow? it would be harder to believe him, if she hadn't seen his memory of that boy, and vax's memory of him. but she did see it, and that means that in some world, the possibility exists.
if they can just figure out a way back to his world, or if they can tap into the powers that had brought him back, somehow...
she sniffles, shifting a little to press her face into his shoulder.]
...okay. I'll believe you.
[...]
I'll wait for you, Percy. So please don't keep me waiting long.