[she's tucked away in a far part of the library that probably isn't so easy to find - but percy knows her well. when she looks up at him, there's a bit of recognition there - in that she recognizes him as the man she saw yesterday, who was worried, who helped her with her injuries...
but she nods. that he's found her here at all indicates that he does know her, much better than she remembers. and thinking over her time here (she's had a lot of time to think, while recovering; she's been trying not to overwork herself and reopen her wounds), there have been numerous gaps. she can remember doing things, just not who with. she remembers... she can almost remember...]
...I decided last night, when we were locked in here... I wanted to talk to you today. I just didn't think it would be like this.
[ he will take that as being allowed to sit down beside her, setting his hands in his lap and looking downwards at them. his brows are deeply furrowed. the death of chang geng and most likely that of chinatsu... combined with the ache of last night, the bullets in her back, the fact that she didn't remember who he was.
I think I may need to change the bandages before I sleep tonight.
[...she'd been planning to ask for chang geng's assistance. but it's fine. she'll manage, probably.]
But... they don't hurt any worse than they did before. That's a good sign... it means they're healing well. [she smiles very faintly. it doesn't quite reach her eyes.] ...I'll be okay.
[ he reaches out a hand briefly but then lets it hover in the air before it returns to his lap. no doubt chang geng was probably going to help her, it doesn't take being a genius to know that. doctors, tbh. ]
If you need help, I know a bit about dressing wounds, so. We can take care of that if you need.
[ pauses as she does, and turns to look at him. he glances around the library a moment before slowly taking her hand with his left one and looking down into his lap. ]
You and I are very good friends, Jiuqing. At least, you are an incredibly invaluable friend to me. At first... I would always enter my apartments to find that Emet-Selch had already let you in. It was a little strange, but... I became used to it, and used to your company. It was pleasant, quiet, intelligent.
We spent much of our time reading, studying... [ he chuckles ] At one point, you and I had switched our interests—engineering and medicine. [ there's a small smile there ] It was a little funny looking back on it. Suddenly you were able to understand my notes... my books. After that... I wanted to learned a bit more to help you.
[ a soft shrug ] You know about my demons, what troubles me inside. We saw... many things about each other this week. Things that I wouldn't tell anyone normally...
[that explains a lot, then. if they really are very good friends - and something about what he says feels right, when he says it - then it's no small wonder that she has so many gaps in her memory.]
To be honest, I... looked through my phone. I was hoping that looking at how we talked to each other might make it easier to remember you. But it looks like we didn't text much.
[...]
But we must have seen each other in person, a lot, because there are so many things that... I just can't remember right. Bits and pieces of nearly every single day that I just can't grasp.
It's strange not to be able to remember, but it makes it very clear that you must have been very important to me. ...I'm sorry to have caused you pain, by forgetting after what we've been through together.
I'm afraid texting's not quite my strong suit, not unless it's an emergency.
[ he laughs a bit, and it's pained, a little tight and high in the throat. ] You don't have anything to apologize for, Jiuqing. Whatever you've been through, whatever was done that's touched these memories, well...
[ he looks down at their hands, gives hers a very soft squeeze. ]
I would be... honored to make more with you. We have a lot of books we still have yet to read, after all. [ a nod at the shelves for days here! ] And perhaps you can help me work on my bandaging technique.
[to make more memories to replace the lost ones - it might be a little painful at first, as they stumble around what was forgotten, as they relearn each other. but it will be worth it. jiuqing can already tell that percy is not someone she would have chosen to forget, ever.
(there are people like that. if she could wipe yao qian and su waner from her memory, she would. why can she still remember them, when she can't remember him?)
she follows his gaze to the shelves, and then -
her phone buzzes. she glances down at it, where it sits at her lap; if percy looks, he may see a snippet of conversation -
from: doctorsu how did you remember her?
from: gjallarhorn I don't know if it was the cause, but I was reflecting over
he won't get to see the rest of the conversation, though, because jiuqing has already read the rest of the message, and she immediately shifts, obscuring the phone from view. her grip tightens on percy's hand, hopeful, and she closes her eyes.
it's quiet. quiet enough in here to hear a pin drop, and jiuqing is focusing hard. hopeful. her lips move in a silent prayer, and then they move again - ]
[ percy won't actually look at her phone, he may cast it a reflexive glance when it appears, but he just squints a little and then smiles, turning away to let her do what she will. but when she grips his hand just a little tighter, he starts. it's just a moment, and then he closes his eyes and just. waits.
he holds her hand back, and maybe, if he prays to some unbidden god, or if he gets on his knees in the recesses of his mind, maybe he can help. somehow. he wants to help.
and then she says it.
rattles off his whole name. and when he looks, he can see the pinpricking tears in her eyes and he moves forward in an instant to wrap his arms around her. he forgets decorum and being proper and he forgets withholding everything that hurts and he folds his arms around her,, careful of her wounds, but enough to show her that the hurt is melting away. ]
My friend...
[ he says it softly, pressing his cheek to hers in the embrace. ]
I was afraid you wouldn't. [ somewhere in percy's gut, he tells himself that would have been fine, that it would have been for the better. ] That maybe this place would take you from me too...
[ he closes his eyes ] I'm tired of losing people. I don't want to lose myself. I don't want you to lose yourself either... Jiuqing...
[ something wet drops onto her shoulder. he's quiet. ]
[when he presses his cheek to hers, he'll feel tears there - but they're tears of relief. she can remember him.
her memories of him slide neatly back into the gaps, like they belonged there all along, because they did. they never should have been taken from her in the first place. she puts her arms around him in turn and holds tightly, partly out of relief that she can remember him, partly out of fear that the memories might slip away again. holding on won't keep that from happening, if it's meant to, but -
it helps soothe something in her.]
I don't want to lose you. Not now, not ever. [definitely not to this place.] ...in the place where we were, yesterday, it... we... we lost ourselves. Some of them managed to remember while we were there, but I didn't, not really, not until I...
[her voice trails off. her grip on his coat tightens.]
...and then when we came back, I still couldn't remember you...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
countermeasures) wrote2022-02-13 07:27 pm
w3, friday
Would you mind if I sat here?
no subject
but she nods. that he's found her here at all indicates that he does know her, much better than she remembers. and thinking over her time here (she's had a lot of time to think, while recovering; she's been trying not to overwork herself and reopen her wounds), there have been numerous gaps. she can remember doing things, just not who with. she remembers... she can almost remember...]
...I decided last night, when we were locked in here... I wanted to talk to you today. I just didn't think it would be like this.
no subject
[ he will take that as being allowed to sit down beside her, setting his hands in his lap and looking downwards at them. his brows are deeply furrowed. the death of chang geng and most likely that of chinatsu... combined with the ache of last night, the bullets in her back, the fact that she didn't remember who he was.
his jaw flexes. ]
How are your wounds...?
no subject
[...she'd been planning to ask for chang geng's assistance. but it's fine. she'll manage, probably.]
But... they don't hurt any worse than they did before. That's a good sign... it means they're healing well. [she smiles very faintly. it doesn't quite reach her eyes.] ...I'll be okay.
no subject
[ he reaches out a hand briefly but then lets it hover in the air before it returns to his lap. no doubt chang geng was probably going to help her, it doesn't take being a genius to know that. doctors, tbh. ]
If you need help, I know a bit about dressing wounds, so. We can take care of that if you need.
no subject
she reaches to take his hand.]
...I'd appreciate your help. [...] But I also... I was hoping I might be able to trouble you to tell me about... who we are to each other.
[she looks up at his face]
I can't remember, but... I want to.
no subject
You and I are very good friends, Jiuqing. At least, you are an incredibly invaluable friend to me. At first... I would always enter my apartments to find that Emet-Selch had already let you in. It was a little strange, but... I became used to it, and used to your company. It was pleasant, quiet, intelligent.
We spent much of our time reading, studying... [ he chuckles ] At one point, you and I had switched our interests—engineering and medicine. [ there's a small smile there ] It was a little funny looking back on it. Suddenly you were able to understand my notes... my books. After that... I wanted to learned a bit more to help you.
[ a soft shrug ] You know about my demons, what troubles me inside. We saw... many things about each other this week. Things that I wouldn't tell anyone normally...
no subject
[that explains a lot, then. if they really are very good friends - and something about what he says feels right, when he says it - then it's no small wonder that she has so many gaps in her memory.]
To be honest, I... looked through my phone. I was hoping that looking at how we talked to each other might make it easier to remember you. But it looks like we didn't text much.
[...]
But we must have seen each other in person, a lot, because there are so many things that... I just can't remember right. Bits and pieces of nearly every single day that I just can't grasp.
It's strange not to be able to remember, but it makes it very clear that you must have been very important to me. ...I'm sorry to have caused you pain, by forgetting after what we've been through together.
no subject
[ he laughs a bit, and it's pained, a little tight and high in the throat. ] You don't have anything to apologize for, Jiuqing. Whatever you've been through, whatever was done that's touched these memories, well...
[ he looks down at their hands, gives hers a very soft squeeze. ]
I would be... honored to make more with you. We have a lot of books we still have yet to read, after all. [ a nod at the shelves for days here! ] And perhaps you can help me work on my bandaging technique.
1/2
[to make more memories to replace the lost ones - it might be a little painful at first, as they stumble around what was forgotten, as they relearn each other. but it will be worth it. jiuqing can already tell that percy is not someone she would have chosen to forget, ever.
(there are people like that. if she could wipe yao qian and su waner from her memory, she would. why can she still remember them, when she can't remember him?)
she follows his gaze to the shelves, and then -
her phone buzzes. she glances down at it, where it sits at her lap; if percy looks, he may see a snippet of conversation -
from: doctorsu
how did you remember her?
from: gjallarhorn
I don't know if it was the cause, but I was reflecting over
he won't get to see the rest of the conversation, though, because jiuqing has already read the rest of the message, and she immediately shifts, obscuring the phone from view. her grip tightens on percy's hand, hopeful, and she closes her eyes.
it's quiet. quiet enough in here to hear a pin drop, and jiuqing is focusing hard. hopeful. her lips move in a silent prayer, and then they move again - ]
...Percival.
[he'd introduced himself as percy, hadn't he?]
2/2
[she looks up at his face, and there's recognition there - real recognition. there's also tears.]
I remember you.
no subject
he holds her hand back, and maybe, if he prays to some unbidden god, or if he gets on his knees in the recesses of his mind, maybe he can help. somehow. he wants to help.
and then she says it.
rattles off his whole name. and when he looks, he can see the pinpricking tears in her eyes and he moves forward in an instant to wrap his arms around her. he forgets decorum and being proper and he forgets withholding everything that hurts and he folds his arms around her,, careful of her wounds, but enough to show her that the hurt is melting away. ]
My friend...
[ he says it softly, pressing his cheek to hers in the embrace. ]
I was afraid you wouldn't. [ somewhere in percy's gut, he tells himself that would have been fine, that it would have been for the better. ] That maybe this place would take you from me too...
[ he closes his eyes ] I'm tired of losing people. I don't want to lose myself. I don't want you to lose yourself either... Jiuqing...
[ something wet drops onto her shoulder. he's quiet. ]
no subject
her memories of him slide neatly back into the gaps, like they belonged there all along, because they did. they never should have been taken from her in the first place. she puts her arms around him in turn and holds tightly, partly out of relief that she can remember him, partly out of fear that the memories might slip away again. holding on won't keep that from happening, if it's meant to, but -
it helps soothe something in her.]
I don't want to lose you. Not now, not ever. [definitely not to this place.] ...in the place where we were, yesterday, it... we... we lost ourselves. Some of them managed to remember while we were there, but I didn't, not really, not until I...
[her voice trails off. her grip on his coat tightens.]
...and then when we came back, I still couldn't remember you...