I saw a dead world -- a shade of it, at least. The Dragonstar and what remained of it, of dragons who had completely lost hope and wallowed in despair, waiting for their time to run out. No small feat, given that their natural lives are close to immortal in man's terms. They had lost everything to war.
[ Just turning the tea around in his cup, looking at it... ]
Even as a shade, I saw the brief glimmer in his eyes when I told him their kind had survived on our star. He asked if they had ran into war on our lands as well -- and I told him they did. Took many of my men, who took many of their kind back in turn. As you saw, mine, too. And I oft think had our past never chosen war, my life would be rather different.
But then, I suppose, I wouldn't be who I am, not putting my resources to averting the Final Days. I could be blissful in ignorance, then, but as I am now, the thought is unthinkable.
perhaps. in some cases, a peaceful life - one without war, or murderous relatives, or anything in between - would be preferable. jiuqing had lived a life of blissful ignorance for many years, up until her time had run out. for the first part of her life, she'd been happy. and when she was miserable, she never lost hope that things would get better.
it had taken waner stealing her life from her, and confessing to her and her aunt's involvement in her mother's murder, for her to find the resolve to make things better, herself.
she's suffered. estinien has, too. but she finds herself nodding along with him.
as i am now, the thought is unthinkable.
jiuqing prefers the person she is now over the person she was in her first life.
and she likes estinien just as he is, despite the fact that it's his hardships and sorrows that have tempered him into the person he is today.]
Perhaps... this is strange to hear from me. [given, uh, the fact that she literally woke up in the past and changed her life.] But... the things that you've experienced have made you who you are, and there really isn't any changing that. The only things that can be changed are the things you haven't experienced, yet. Your future.
I think... as long as you keep working toward a better future, there's always hope that someday, there will be future generations who don't have to experience the difficult things that have made us who we are. They'll be able to be themselves in peace, without the possibility of that peace being stolen from them. That's something worth working towards.
Why should it be strange? As I have learned, all should look towards the future, whoever it may be. Men, dragons, gods have all done so, because there's hardly anything we can do to change what has already transpired.
[ Even if Jiuqing woke up in the past to change it, it doesn't erase what she had already been through. ]
Anger, happiness, grief, whatever else... they make you. And though it isn't always happy, it is in our rights to keep walking despite it, because it weighs as it should. Someone has to carry that legacy.
[ He learned that that's what 'humanises' things. ]
[if she didn't already think the way she did, she'd find herself swayed to his opinion. but hers mostly lines up with his already, and she's struck by how similar some of the things they believe are.
it makes the differences between them as people even more interesting.]
Most wouldn't call me that, but different places seem to measure wisdom differently.
[ Like the Far East, where they laud worldly and spiritual experience as their 'wisdom'. Far unlike Ishgard and Sharlayan, where wisdom is measured in the thickness of pages they keep in their minds. ]
I don't particularly like getting into philosophical prattle, but it isn't so egregious with you.
Will he ever let us forget about that...? We were younger, and stupid. But when you train to throw lances hard enough to pierce dragonhide, 'twould be an immense embarrassment to lose to a watermelon.
We got bored. And perhaps got in over our heads with drinks on break.
Lest you worry, we were sufficiently yelled at for misusing the trebuchets for play instead of defense, and made to walk all the way to a different post several malms away.
[ One of the few times that he can count on his fingers when he acted like a young adult ideally could -- laughing, having fun. ]
...I don't see why you should have been yelled at for that. Sure, maybe it wasn't intended for watermelons, but it was sort of like training, wasn't it?
Misusing city defense equipment for ridiculous banter isn't grounds for an angry senior knight to you? I'm sorry to remind you, but they all have sticks up their arses.
I have a hard time imagining it... if one of General Lin's men did something like that, I feel like he'd try to find some strategic way to use watermelons in a battle. It would definitely surprise the enemy!
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I saw a dead world -- a shade of it, at least. The Dragonstar and what remained of it, of dragons who had completely lost hope and wallowed in despair, waiting for their time to run out. No small feat, given that their natural lives are close to immortal in man's terms. They had lost everything to war.
[ Just turning the tea around in his cup, looking at it... ]
Even as a shade, I saw the brief glimmer in his eyes when I told him their kind had survived on our star. He asked if they had ran into war on our lands as well -- and I told him they did. Took many of my men, who took many of their kind back in turn. As you saw, mine, too. And I oft think had our past never chosen war, my life would be rather different.
But then, I suppose, I wouldn't be who I am, not putting my resources to averting the Final Days. I could be blissful in ignorance, then, but as I am now, the thought is unthinkable.
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perhaps. in some cases, a peaceful life - one without war, or murderous relatives, or anything in between - would be preferable. jiuqing had lived a life of blissful ignorance for many years, up until her time had run out. for the first part of her life, she'd been happy. and when she was miserable, she never lost hope that things would get better.
it had taken waner stealing her life from her, and confessing to her and her aunt's involvement in her mother's murder, for her to find the resolve to make things better, herself.
she's suffered. estinien has, too. but she finds herself nodding along with him.
as i am now, the thought is unthinkable.
jiuqing prefers the person she is now over the person she was in her first life.
and she likes estinien just as he is, despite the fact that it's his hardships and sorrows that have tempered him into the person he is today.]
Perhaps... this is strange to hear from me. [given, uh, the fact that she literally woke up in the past and changed her life.] But... the things that you've experienced have made you who you are, and there really isn't any changing that. The only things that can be changed are the things you haven't experienced, yet. Your future.
I think... as long as you keep working toward a better future, there's always hope that someday, there will be future generations who don't have to experience the difficult things that have made us who we are. They'll be able to be themselves in peace, without the possibility of that peace being stolen from them. That's something worth working towards.
no subject
Why should it be strange? As I have learned, all should look towards the future, whoever it may be. Men, dragons, gods have all done so, because there's hardly anything we can do to change what has already transpired.
[ Even if Jiuqing woke up in the past to change it, it doesn't erase what she had already been through. ]
Anger, happiness, grief, whatever else... they make you. And though it isn't always happy, it is in our rights to keep walking despite it, because it weighs as it should. Someone has to carry that legacy.
[ He learned that that's what 'humanises' things. ]
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...you're pretty wise, you know.
[if she didn't already think the way she did, she'd find herself swayed to his opinion. but hers mostly lines up with his already, and she's struck by how similar some of the things they believe are.
it makes the differences between them as people even more interesting.]
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[ Like the Far East, where they laud worldly and spiritual experience as their 'wisdom'. Far unlike Ishgard and Sharlayan, where wisdom is measured in the thickness of pages they keep in their minds. ]
I don't particularly like getting into philosophical prattle, but it isn't so egregious with you.
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Oh? That sounds like a compliment. Thank you.
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But he snorts at that. ]
Fine, if you choose to take it that way.
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[the fact that he is willing to talk to her is a victory.]
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You have me.
[ He'll cop to that. ]
You're pleasant.
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I'm glad you think so. I find your company pleasant as well.
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There's a rare sentence. [ He snorts. ] Anyone here you find unpleasant?
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Sir Garou.
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He's a strange one, isn't he. I remember he tried to punch me the first day so I punched him back.
[ Me like, Estinien would hate him actually if he wasn't 18, but being a teenager saves Garou a lot of ire. ]
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He hits pretty hard, but I bet you hit harder. Sir Aymeric told me you once crushed an entire watermelon with a single throw of your lance?
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He stares hard at the ceiling. ]
Will he ever let us forget about that...? We were younger, and stupid. But when you train to throw lances hard enough to pierce dragonhide, 'twould be an immense embarrassment to lose to a watermelon.
[ He may as well QUIT ]
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[she has never broken a watermelon just by throwing something at it in her life.]
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Lest you worry, we were sufficiently yelled at for misusing the trebuchets for play instead of defense, and made to walk all the way to a different post several malms away.
[ One of the few times that he can count on his fingers when he acted like a young adult ideally could -- laughing, having fun. ]
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And it gave you practice with operating it.
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Misusing city defense equipment for ridiculous banter isn't grounds for an angry senior knight to you? I'm sorry to remind you, but they all have sticks up their arses.
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[ He's joking, this isn't true disbelief. But it sounds ridiculous don't it. ]
Your General Lin seems far more lax... or perhaps, he's just odd.
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[she is so rude.]
...but his opponents are other humans, not dragons and... I don't know what a steinbock is.
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Estinien here trying to figure out how he should describe a steinbock. ]
...It's something of a deer-like animal.
[ Antelope would be a better approximation actually but hey. ]
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I see... "deer-like," though? Is it much large than them?